Fck U Starbucks! Learn how to make cookie crumbs small enough to fit up a straw. My last name isn’t Hoover or Dyson.

Tumblr Crushes:

There are some new faces on my list of people I like to stalk. I’m not sure if I should say welcome or sorry.

• elonatrump
• evolutionofphunny
• mysouthernhelle
• blindspotsandsunshine
• allykat819
• winknudgesaynomo
• nikefan45
• datingsexpert
• titsandsass

Post 216.

Sorry to get everyone all excited on a Thursday.

I need to use this excuse at work.

If I were dressed in a purple suit and top hat, would this pickup line work? just askin

One serious case of …….. You know.

I am so glad its Monday.

(That was a lie)

New Keurig VUE. Father’s day gift to self?

christinaincorporated:

Civil Rights. Period.

I really am glad to have a phone that can tell how bad it sucks to work second shift.

My phone just thought it would be useful for me to know that I have ” 0 ” messages. Either that, or it is just busting my balls by telling me no one wants to text me.